THEFT—CRIME AND PUNISHMENT

 

The critical event described was one of the most striking of our Alzheimer’s dementia process, a consequence of disinhibition, the failure of normal inhibitory reactions as the brain becomes damaged by Alzheimer’s.  Disinhibition can result in many kinds of inappropriate behaviors (see blog on Violations of Boundaries and Social Norms), including aggressive and sexual reactions.  And disinhibition is related to so many others issues, such as readily being upset and wandering off.  Beverly’s most common inappropriate behavior was invading other people’s space, though in a positive way.  If we were eating in a restaurant, she might go up to another table, put a hand on a stranger’s shoulder and start talking to people there.  And she often invited a casual acquaintance (often a restaurant server) to come to our house to visit us.   Beyond these positive behaviors, her anger was now more readily expressed overtly (and usually at me) even in the early stages.  Once in a while, something serious went wrong, as is true with the theft. 

 

            The expert sources discuss theft; it is unlikely to happen, but it did to us.  It happened well before the critical time when we moved into the facility. At that point in the development of Alzheimer’s, most people who had a casual contact with Beverly would not know that anything was not quite right.  It was definitely Early stage Alzheimer’s; still there were more difficulties than were obvious to most, including me.

 

A significant reason to write about this is to warn others to be on the lookout.  Prior to Alzheimer’s, this was NOT something she ever did. And I was sufficiently on guard after this to be certain that it would never happen again.  For others with dementia, maybe it will not be theft, but watch out for strange, almost unexplainable behavior, even in early stages.

 

We had flown to Maryland (June 2013) to visit our daughter & family.  Beverly & I were leaving a high-quality department/clothing store one day when police officers stopped us, separated us, and took her away.  They questioned me at some length and I was frankly terrified—more for her than for me.  I was told that various pieces of jewelry were stolen on that day and on another occasion two days before.  The evidence was, they told me, clear cut as they had surveillance video of events on both days, showing that she picked up various pieces of jewelry and put them in her purse.  The video even showed that she committed these acts when I was not looking at her, even though I was standing nearby.  They seemed to conclude that I did not know anything about what had happened, as I did not participate and did not seem to see what she was doing.  But it was unclear what would happen to me—or to her.

 

After an hour or so of interrogating her and me separately, they brought her back and agreed to release her to me.  They had retrieved all of today’s jewelry from her purse and knew that she had other pieces from the previous time.  She would be charged with theft and all would be better if the other pieces were returned. These were jewelry, but none of them was particularly expensive, so that the total was below the amount for a more serious felony theft charge, based as I remember on a total of $1,000 or more.  Thus it was fortunate that this was not a felony crime.

 

This was all extremely stressful for us both.  The police were aware that she was not functioning normally, but had still managed their usual full court press.  She was shaking when she returned and was generally in poor shape.  I was shaken and hardly knew what to say to her.  We left the place and drove to where we were staying, retrieved the missing pieces and returned them quickly to the store.

 

I and family members puzzled about the motive for her actions in taking the jewelry. Money was not an issue, as she could have bought all of this jewelry.  As our daughter Lori said:  “I remember thinking that her stealing was not about the material goods but more of a way for her to gain control in the midst of her reality crumbling.”   She was already struggling with her mental faculties to be able to make purchases whether by cash or by card.  (The official Alzheimer’s diagnosis was already eight years previously.). It was difficult for her to use a credit card, which was embarrassing for her.  Maybe stealing was simpler?

And this proved to be an enormous humiliation; at the time, no one knew except me and our daughter.  Beverly was darkly depressed for many days; this was a traumatic experience in many ways.  She was well aware that this was connected to her developing dementia and, as Lori suggested:  “It was terrifying for her to experience the ‘toggle’ between semi-normalcy and an Alzheimer’s state.”

 

            Such an analysis was irrelevant to the legal system, though the Alzheimer’s diagnosis proved to be relevant.

 

Upon receipt of the official police report of charges and statement of required court appearance, I began the task of finding an appropriate attorney.  Since someone knew someone who knew a good attorney, I made contact and got an appointment.  I arrived at his office with paperwork stating that she had Alzheimer’s disease; I also wrote a several page letter indicating what I knew about her particular state with the disease and the kinds of positive social behavior she typically exhibited.  Also I indicated that nothing like this had ever happened before and that I was with her virtually 24 hours a day in recent months.  He agreed to take the case for a fixed amount, offering to reduce the usual amount by half as a favor.  The proposed amount seemed very reasonable, so I paid him in advance  

 

The attorney was quite sympathetic; after our return to Utah, he sent me a copy of a memorandum addressed to the judge in advance of the court hearing.   It would  not have been easy for us to be in court on the day of the hearing. The attorney argued for a “no contest” plea with a suspended sentence; that succeeded.  We paid the court costs and the fine, which were modest.

 

Some weeks later we received a letter from the store indicating that they would not demand any recompense, though they were entitled to charge us twice the value of the stolen merchandise, even though it was all returned.  They stated that she could not enter any of their stores for two years from the date of the theft; that seemed like a reasonable “ban.”

 

So we were fortunate in a number of ways.  We found a quality attorney, who was willing to pursue the case for a reasonable fee.  The judge was understanding of the situation and responded effectively though we were not in the courtroom.  The company did not pursue additional money, in part because all stolen jewelry was quickly returned and, presumably, the appropriate staff understood her situation.

 

This could have gone much worse in multiple ways.  I could have easily been charged as an accomplice since I was with her all of the time on both days.  She could have been taken to jail and booked.  The value of stolen items could easily have been high enough to move her into the category of felony and that felony might have meant jail.  That would have required bail.  Upon the court hearing, the judge could have given any of various sentences including a large fine and/or jail time, and likely some kind of probation.  The company could have demanded the extra charges, even though the jewelry was all returned; that was their legal right.

 

Shortly after I wrote most of this entry (April, 2021) there was a news article about a woman with dementia and an attempted theft at a Walmart.  She was leaving with a few items (of minimal value) that had not been paid for; she was intercepted by employees who took the items.  Then she reacted by pulling a mask off of an employee, so the employees called the police.  When a police officer found her walking home and she resisted, he threw the 80 pound woman to the ground, ultimately breaking her arm and dislocating her shoulder.  A sad story in multiple ways. This story was in the news because of the terrible outcome.  Still there must be many other events of theft or attempted theft by people with dementia.

 

Our story is worth telling, first because these events do happen.  Even if theft is rare, any Alzheimer’s person should be monitored carefully at all times for this and for other potentially troublesome activity.  If I had watched at all, I might have caught it.  If I had, of course, there would have been the difficult process of demanding to know what else was in her purse, which would have resulted in a major reaction (anger) from her in the store.  But, if I did not take action, I would then be an accomplice.  What might have happened in this situation is potentially pretty terrible for people like us who have worked hard, lived honestly, and never broken any laws (you know, other than the some speeding and rolling through a stop sign).  How much could this one event cost in money, in stress, lost time from work, extra travel, etc.?  So such an event can happen and there is probably no basis for prediction of who would and who would not do this kind of thing.  Think of a store your loved one goes to, of objects that they want. There are many ways to steal and your Alzheimer’s loved one could attempt stealing. And, given their mental faculties, most are unlikely to be clever enough to succeed consistently.  While many of the attempts in stores might be stopped by the equipments that detect items from which the electronic tag was not removed, even these could result in criminal charges.  This was definitely a major low point in all of the events that we have had in relation to Alzheimer’s impact on our lives.

 

No other theft or stealing or “taking” by her ever happened to my knowledge. Still p eople with dementia of any kind will take from others, objects they want, even from a private home, church, or restaurant.  The underlying neurological process is the impact on those parts of the brain that inhibit impulses that we know are wrong; this disinhibition can impact many behaviors.  Disinhibition seems to be an element of many forms of dementia, including Alzheimer’s.

 

It is important to be aware of these possibilities with dementia and maintain attention to their activities. As dementia develops, the care demands become full time.